tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65070999367119115502024-03-13T22:39:57.445-05:00Our adoption journeyRachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.comBlogger58125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-34665626035458769272016-11-17T12:14:00.000-06:002016-11-17T12:14:58.412-06:00The whole storyI know it's been QUITE some time since I posted here. There is so much privacy surrounding the foster care system that I didn't feel I could share enough without sharing too much. But now, on the other side of things, I can share OUR story. Our son's story. Though he will always be who he is and will always know where he came from, his future is entirely changed. He is our son, but more importantly, he belongs to Christ.<br />
Here he is at just a couple of weeks old. I photographed him in our family's baptism gown even though we didn't know if he would eventually be a Shipp or not. But all of my children have worn this gown and I wanted that for him if he was in fact going to be a Shipp.<br />
<span id="goog_1398194102"></span><span id="goog_1398194103"></span><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7VI2z-869I0/WC3sWLWjLpI/AAAAAAAALws/g0ZluS2gBvcBRHElhb53k2ywG0YHXWVwwCK4B/s1600/IMG_3205.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7VI2z-869I0/WC3sWLWjLpI/AAAAAAAALws/g0ZluS2gBvcBRHElhb53k2ywG0YHXWVwwCK4B/s320/IMG_3205.jpg" width="320" /> </a><br />
We also got to put him in the baptism gown that belonged to my great grandmother, who was also adopted. So here he is in his great-great-grandmother's baptism gown.<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MNZa9mq3f4c/WC3ssdOBRWI/AAAAAAAALw0/A6_0gOQxcjEGyNnR8pBKp_NSmH0iOEz3gCK4B/s1600/IMG_3201.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MNZa9mq3f4c/WC3ssdOBRWI/AAAAAAAALw0/A6_0gOQxcjEGyNnR8pBKp_NSmH0iOEz3gCK4B/s320/IMG_3201.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
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Here is the story I wrote up to keep for him, along with the continuation I finished up today. Some of this will be recap on the blog, but I wanted to share the whole thing.<br />
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<div dir="ltr" id="m_754653015432939232gmail-m_4805134307109721298docs-internal-guid-011fd46b-48c2-d331-b105-1485149fdf0d" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We
always knew we wanted to adopt. We always thought that something would
just “fall in our lap.” One of my great grandmothers was left in a
basket on a doorstep. We didn’t think we would start the process until
after our biological kids were much older, but in the summer of 2013 we
decided to go in that direction. We went to our first meeting at
Buckner International in October of 2013 and were licensed to do
straight <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">adoption</span> through CPS waiting Texas
children. We were licensed to adopt as many as three, which would give
us 8 total in our home. We submitted our homestudy on numerous sibling
groups but were never chosen or matched. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">In
early November of 2014, a young homeless couple showed up at our
church. That Sunday my husband was teaching Sunday school for the first
time. It was “Orphan Sunday” and he was teaching on the responsibility
of Christians to care for orphans. After Sunday school, this couple
came up to us and introduced themselves. They told us they had two
girls in foster care in different homes. They had heard from someone
else at church that we were licensed to adopt, so they told us they
thought maybe we could get their girls and adopt them and then in a few
years when they “get back on our feet”, they could take the girls back.
We immediately thought that they didn’t know what <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">adoption</span> meant! They also told us they were expecting.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The next month, my husband took a job working in NM 3 weeks a month and we found out we were expecting. We decided to put <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">adoption</span>
plans on the back burner but to keep our license up so we wouldn’t have
to go through all the training classes again. I also started mentoring
the young mother. Our church helped the couple with housing, a
vehicle, jobs, and food. I drove her to many doctors appointments, food
banks, and more. I developed a good relationship with them, but
especially with her. She was very open with me and we talked often. I
got more and more comfortable and learned much from her. Her stories
exposed me to many things and experiences I never dreamed of. (These
details are in another note.) Folks from church also helped with a
wedding and the couple was married January 3rd, 2014.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Her
baby was due in March. Between November and March, they had lived in 5
different places including living with various friends. The father had
acquired and lost 6 jobs. I maintained a relationship with them.
Their parental rights had been terminated on their daughter in
December. Mom had another older daughter that was not in CPS custody
but was living with family of the father. She had no contact with
them. On more than one occasion she and I had conversations about her
girls and she expressed her desire to get her girls back. CPS had told
her she would not be getting the middle daughter back. Their parental
rights were terminated and case was closed. She still didn’t seem to
get it. At one point she asked me if I thought she would ever get her
back. As hard as it was, I had to tell her “no.” We shed tears
together. I hurt for her. During this conversation she also asked me
if I thought CPS would get involved again when this baby was born. I
told her I expected they would. She asked if I would be there with her
at the hospital when he was born and if CPS came if I would be there to
help her understand what they told her. She also asked if CPS decided
to remove him, if we would take him. I told her we would talk and pray
about it. We both cried.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We
did talk and pray about it extensively. I knew that if it came to it,
we were their best chance at getting him back. We could continue to
offer support. The church could help them and encourage them. They
could get and stay clean. We could surround them with love and prayer.
Despite my husband being gone so much, me being pregnant, and having 5
kids already, we decided that we would say “yes” if the call came. On
one Sunday after telling her we would foster him if needed, she
commented to me casually in the lunch line that she liked knowing that
if she couldn’t have her son that we would and that we would raise him
the right way and love him and discipline him like our own. I couldn’t
imagine saying such a thing. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">After
several false alarms, I finally got a call from her telling me her
water had broken. She was in labor and headed to the hospital. She
asked me to meet her there. On Tuesday, March 17, 2015, a healthy baby
boy was born via c-section. He was 6 lbs 9 oz and 18” long. He spent
his first 8 hours in the nursery. Mom never asked for him but asked
frequently if she could go down and smoke a cigarette. She was in lots
of pain from the surgery and asking for pain meds. But she wanted a
cigarette more than her baby. He was precious and perfect. He looked
like his daddy. I took pictures. I was the third person to hold the
little tiny bundle and I spent a lot of time holding and snuggling and
kissing on him. I was there all day while my mother-in-law was at home
with my kids.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
next morning CPS showed up. Mom texted me and asked me to come now. I
was already in the parking lot. I went up and the investigator was
there. I asked mom if she wanted me to come in and she said yes. She
was a nervous wreck. The investigator asked lots of questions and I
listened as mom answered and lied about many of them. Dad wasn’t there
and I was afraid he would fly off the handle when he got there. The
investigator asked mom if she had someone, family or friend, that could
take him if CPS determined he could not go home with them. She named
me. I spoke with the investigator outside of the room afterward. Then
my dad, the pastor, showed up coincidentally and spoke with her as
well. Then the dad showed up. He actually stayed calm and answered the
investigators questions. Both parents thought she was satisfied and
that baby boy would be going home with them.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
went home again that night. My husband and I were prepared for the
possibility of bringing another baby home soon. My dad called and told
me his concerns about the potential of having a foster baby, especially
this foster baby with all the complications of knowing the birth
parents. He also told me that he knew, as crazy as it all was, that if
anyone could handle it, I was it. We of course prayed more</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">On
Thursday morning I called mom to see if she wanted me back at the
hospital. She said she did so I went. She had not had the baby in her
room all night. She said she had too much anxiety and needed something
for it and needed a cigarette and more pain meds. The CPS investigator
came back with an armed guard to tell them that baby boy would not be
going home with them. After she left the room, I stepped out to give
them a moment with each other to process and grieve. The investigator
told me they weren’t sure yet if baby would be going with me. They had
to talk to the family that had his sister first. I left to go get a
bite to eat with a friend.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">While
I was at lunch, I got the call. Baby boy was coming to my house within
a couple of hours. I called mom to let her know and I told her that
this would immediately change my relationship with her. I would have to
limit contact with her. He was now my priority. I would be loving and
helping her by loving and caring for her son. She thanked me. So did
dad.</span></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yHFcs4i6HIw/WC3twvJu-UI/AAAAAAAALxM/DcbuqvClsvE_27fmK281Lwm9xAAiOkKhACK4B/s1600/06%2B19%2B15%2B504.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-yHFcs4i6HIw/WC3twvJu-UI/AAAAAAAALxM/DcbuqvClsvE_27fmK281Lwm9xAAiOkKhACK4B/s320/06%2B19%2B15%2B504.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
went home to get ready and my mother in law ran to the store for
diapers. He was brought to my house shortly after that, we signed all
the papers, and we were officially foster parents. My parents came
within the hour with a baby gift. My dad said to all of us that as long
as this baby is with us he would be treated 100% like family. No
matter how long he would be with us he would get all the benefits of
being in our family. My husband hadn’t even met him yet and wouldn’t
for two more weeks. He called my father in law to let him know. My
father in law agreed that we had done exactly what needed to be done.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">They
came to the first court hearing. CPS stated that they wanted to go
straight to termination based on the previous case and the parents lack
of improvement since that short time ago. The judge denied that request
and required CPS to give them a service plan. At the initial staffing
meeting at CPS the parents did not come. I was present. The service
plan was laid out for the parents to have consistent employment and
housing for six months, to stay off drugs and out of jail, to do
parenting classes and psychological evaluations. The primary goal
listed was for “non relative <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">adoption</span>” and the concurrent goal was reunification.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Over
the next couple of weeks baby boy had weekly visits with his parents at
the CPS office and on Sundays at church we would go in the office and
have a short visit that I supervised. It was a bit awkward but they
were always friendly. When he was about 3 weeks old the parents failed
their drug tests and visits were suspended by CPS. They were no longer
allowed to have contact with him, even at church. They continued to come
on and off but couldn’t hold him. On Mother’s Day they showed up again
and informed us that their daughter had been adopted. Then they
disappeared. </span></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wrgA80lZuMc/WC3tuJF-RCI/AAAAAAAALxE/VB6xFjpL0CkkKKu1pYlyqcpN34Wh4OuDQCK4B/s1600/06%2B19%2B15%2B351.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wrgA80lZuMc/WC3tuJF-RCI/AAAAAAAALxE/VB6xFjpL0CkkKKu1pYlyqcpN34Wh4OuDQCK4B/s320/06%2B19%2B15%2B351.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I
enjoyed all the new baby snuggles and baby boy slept constantly. He
never cried. Our baby girl was born on June 7th. She was baptized on
Father’s Day. That day his birth parents were at church again. They
asked to hold him but we told them we had to follow CPS rules. We did
get a picture of him beside them. After that they disappeared again.
That was the last time we saw birth dad. I don’t know if we will ever
see him again.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">After
a month or so I heard from mom again. They were in Louisiana but
wouldn’t tell us where. They didn’t come to court. Mom would contact
me periodically. I would send pictures and tell her how he was doing
and what new “tricks” he was learning. She assured me that they were
“working hard.” At one point she asked me if I was disappointed in her
and I told her “yes. You left your son.” She always thanked me for
loving him and taking care of him.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Several
months went by without contact. Then suddenly, on Halloween, I got a
facebook request and message from her. I seriously debated accepting
the request but decided to do so on a limited basis. I could see what
she posted and send messages back and forth, but I could hide most of my
posts from her. They had moved to Colorado. They were “working
hard”. At this point they both told me that they realized the best
thing for baby boy was for us to adopt him I had several very good
conversations with mom on the phone and once with dad. They both
thanked me profusely for loving and caring for their son. They told me
they knew he has a future with us and that they couldn’t provide for
him. I asked them if they intended to relinquish their rights and they
said yes. They were going to get a P.O. Box and get the papers signed.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">More
time went by with nothing. They told me they had contacted their court
appointed attorneys and informed them of their desire to relinquish
their rights and for us to adopt. They never signed papers. I didn’t
hear from her after mid December. I was worried about her. Homeless,
cold, and for all I knew, missing. Or worse.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The
Sunday after Christmas, I stayed home from church with a sick kid. I
never miss church. That morning I got a text from my dad letting me
know that birth mom was at church. I was an emotional wreck. I wanted
baby boy home with me. I was shocked. I was relieved that she was ok.
I wanted to be there to talk to her. I wanted to know what was going
on. I wanted to see her. I wanted to hug her. I wanted to ring her
neck. I didn’t know what I wanted. She was friendly to everyone. My
husband told me she came up to him, kissed baby boy on the head, called
him by the name we gave him (not what she named him), and told him to be
good for mama and daddy, referring to us. She told him she loved him. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">A
few days later she sent me a Facebook message and we made plans to have
lunch. I picked her up on the side of the road about 15 miles outside
of town. We went to lunch and had a good visit. She told me her
husband was in jail in Colorado and would be there for a while. She
said her intentions for us to adopt still stood. She knew she couldn’t
be a parent. She was staying with her dad, who up until this point, I
had no idea existed. I had never heard her talk about him. He send me a
FB message and asked me to call him. He wanted to confirm her <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">story</span>
of meeting me for lunch. I had a good conversation with him. She
didn’t go back “home” to him. She moved in with a friend and started
laying low because she knew she had a warrant out and would be arrested.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Court
was Monday, January 11th. Mom didn’t show. CPS filed to terminate
parental rights. Mom and Dad’s attorneys said that they had been
contacted and informed that the parents did not wish to contest and that
they willingly gave up their rights, though they never signed
anything. The judge granted this order and their parental rights were
terminated that day. </span></div>
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<a href="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13179356_10153479139871389_1921994515394186228_n.jpg?oh=cb1c288f9c04531c274fffd3e01b6bc5&oe=58D05938" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="spotlight" height="213" src="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13179356_10153479139871389_1921994515394186228_n.jpg?oh=cb1c288f9c04531c274fffd3e01b6bc5&oe=58D05938" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Now
we have to wait 90 days to adopt our little guy. Then I can share
pictures of this beautiful boy that essentially fell in our lap. He may
look like his biological father, but he is practically a twin of our
now six year old. He will also grow up as a twin to our baby girl.
They are two and a half months apart. Most of the time when people in
public ask if they are twins we say “yes.” The first time someone asked
that and my husband said they were, I asked him what he was going to
tell them when they asked how old they were. He said, “I was going to
say I don’t know, ask my </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">wife.”</span></div>
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<a href="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13230165_10153479139291389_166853904234339769_n.jpg?oh=beed0c9395493f7b27d95e3add434330&oe=58D0D6C3" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="spotlight" height="213" src="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13230165_10153479139291389_166853904234339769_n.jpg?oh=beed0c9395493f7b27d95e3add434330&oe=58D0D6C3" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">We
hope that we can maintain a relationship with birth mom. I’m not sure
what that will look like. I hope she can get clean and lead a
productive life. I hope that she comes to know the Lord. I hope that
all this mess leads her to fall down at the foot of the Cross. As much
as I think it would be easier for ME if he never knows her, I know that
he will benefit from knowing her and knowing his history. This is
nothing at all what we expected when we set out to adopt. But it’s
exactly what God had planned for us. He is the author of this <span class="m_754653015432939232gmail-il">story</span>.
My constant prayer through all of this last 10 months and beyond has
been that glory would be brought to Him through this experience. That
more people would be drawn to foster and adopt. That this sweet little
guy would change lives. That his birth parents would know HIM. And when
I would worry about baby boy’s future I would remind myself that God
loves him way more than I do.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">To be continued...</span></div>
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The
rest of the story is that on May 13th, we finalized his adoption. We
had a huge party to celebrate! His is ours forever! It's not exactly
what we set out for, but it's what God intended for us. And it's
perfect. </div>
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<i>For
I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm
you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11</i></div>
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<a href="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13256398_10153483022716389_4266492141819009846_n.jpg?oh=18cbf9b9fb27eb286f5e4224f3654ba3&oe=58BFFB43" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" class="spotlight" height="320" src="https://scontent-dft4-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/13256398_10153483022716389_4266492141819009846_n.jpg?oh=18cbf9b9fb27eb286f5e4224f3654ba3&oe=58BFFB43" width="320" /></a>On May 15th, my dad had the privilege of baptizing his 16th grandchild. And of course my mom made a beautiful outfit for the occasion.<i> </i></div>
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The
day we received his Birth certificate in the mail, in late October, was
overwhelmingly emotional. To see our names listed as his BIRTH
parents, on that official document stating that we are his REAL
parents, Wow!</div>
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do still maintain contact with his first mom. She knows that if she is
open with me that she will continue to know him. She also knows that
if she ever shows up for a visit and is strung out on something, the
visit will be over and we will not continue visits until he wants them
again. Of course at this point he doesn't even know who she is. But
that will never be hidden from him. I have the only pictures from his
first parents' wedding and from his birth. He will know where he came
from. He also has several letters written by his first father and
mother along with pictures from her childhood. He will always know he
was loved.</div>
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Though
she made many bad decisions, she made two great ones, and I thank her
often for that. She chose to give him life when she didn't have to.
And even though it was a forced decision, she did chose us to be his
parents. I will forever be grateful for that sacrifice and I will never
forget the valuable lessons I learned through all of this.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-e69paF8hkN8/WC3uqJCxMnI/AAAAAAAALxU/y417vduJnGwyzQTNwis4QAHySKbMYQAYACK4B/s1600/11.16%2B058.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-e69paF8hkN8/WC3uqJCxMnI/AAAAAAAALxU/y417vduJnGwyzQTNwis4QAHySKbMYQAYACK4B/s320/11.16%2B058.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<span id="goog_2063977160"></span><span id="goog_2063977161"></span>Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-53310921998801946912015-05-20T12:25:00.000-05:002015-05-20T12:25:15.952-05:00Foster Care UpdateI've been wanting to write a post for a while now to fill you in on our experiences with foster care but I didn't know where to start. There's a lot that simply can't be said for privacy reasons but there's still so much I want to say about this experience thus far. Our situation is an unusual one for sure. <br />
<br />
Two months ago we became what is called "kinship caregivers" for a sweet baby boy. He came to us from the hospital. Of course you know that we set out to adopt and never expected to be foster parents. It's not that we were opposed to it, we simply had too many children in our home already. Being considered "fictive kin" (i.e. the parents asked for us to care for him) is the only way that we can be foster parents at this point. <br />
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Since we were only one class away from being a licensed foster home, we went ahead and took the class. For the last two months we have still been a kinship home which falls under the oversight of CPS. Once our license goes through in a few weeks though we will be under Buckner. While we have had no negative experiences working with CPS we are happy to continue our relationship with the kind ladies at Buckner. Again, we are so happy we chose to go through them on this adventure to adoption and now foster care. It seems that everyone is a little baffled by our situation. With Andrew gone so many weeks at a time, five kids already in the home, and expecting another addition in a few short weeks, there's plenty of red tape to deal with, papers to sign, waivers to get, It seems we are the exception to the rule!<br />
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God's hand has been evident in this from the very beginning. Again, there are many details that I simply cannot share, but this is entirely a God thing. Not only has he given us the privilege of caring for this little guy and giving him the best start we can, but He has surrounded us with a community of believers to support us and encourage us along the way. There is simply no way I could do this alone. Any one of the circumstances we are going through right now is more than I could handle on my own. When people ask me how I'm doing this my answer is always the same: "By the grace of God." It's the absolute truth.<br />
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Despite the difficult situation and the extreme emotions (foster care combined with pregnancy combined with knowing his parents and feeling for them), we have been blessed over the last two months by countless people. Our church family has helped meet needs for meals, for diapers, for baby items, babysitters, and constant prayers. Our neighbors have enlisted the help of folks from their church as well. No need we have had has gone unmet thanks to all these wonderful people. I wish I could thank them each by name but I would surely forget someone. I have been brought to tears on more than one occasion by the love, support, and generosity of those around us. I am so thankful that God brought us to exactly where we are and surrounded us with this community of believers. They have helped sustain me, given me energy, added to my life, and helped me fulfill a calling.<br />
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We were even able to get our big, ugly, practical, beast of a van. Twelve captains chairs to spread out, keep little people in their own space, and the best part is that they can't even touch each other! Do you have any idea how wild it is to get 6 little people buckled into car seats? Or just the fact that we HAVE 6, soon to be 7, car seats? Andrew and I have often joked about needing limo glass between the driver's seat and the rest of the car but now there is no need. We need walkie-talkies to be able to hear people more than one row behind us. It's not an urgent need though. For now, I can just tell them, "I can't hear you, let's talk about it when we get home." Seriously though, this vehicle has been a tremendous blessing to us. Now we just need to sell our Expedition. Any takers?<br />
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There are definitely moments when it's hard. I don't think it's adding a baby to the mix that has been so difficult really. He is such an easy going little guy and I of course welcome the opportunity to sit with my feet up and feed him or snuggle him. It's all the regular, every day tasks that have me exhausted. Without my better half around there are plenty of things that have been let go. Washing dishes daily, folding and putting away laundry (at least it's clean!), anything more than a bubble bath for the girls (it's fun AND clean!), eating on anything other than paper plates, cooking dinner from scratch every night, going to bed on time, getting up and to school on time, and the list goes on. We are managing though, by the grace of God!<br />
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And now we look forward to baby girl Shipp joining us in the coming weeks. I admit, that part has me a bit panicked! Two babies. How am I going to handle two babies? And five others? Yes. I know it's crazy. I covet your prayers for patience, strength, endurance, and the ability to keep it together in those first few weeks. And prayers for Andrew to get a great job much closer to home. I'm going to need him for this!<br />
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We do not know what the future holds for us or for this little guy. For now we will continue to give him all that he needs and to pray for him and his parents. Our prayer has been that this little guy would have a bright and glorious future, that he would grow up in a loving Christian home, and that all his needs would be fulfilled. We don't presume to know God's plan for him, and we ask for grace to accept whatever that plan may be. I'm sure there will be many tears on all sides throughout the coming months. Please pray with us for all involved. Foster care is a tough situation for everyone. Our priority right now is to love and protect this little guy and to maintain an open relationship with his parents. Please keep them in your prayers as well.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-88522969653481808252015-03-27T11:27:00.000-05:002015-03-27T11:27:04.143-05:00Foster CareIf you've been following along then you know that we never set out to do Foster Care. We had too many kids to be able to do that. It wasn't that we were opposed to it at all, just that we were constrained by already having five in our home. And then when we found out back in October that we are expecting baby #6 shortly followed by Andrew's transition to working out of town, we decided to put our adoption plans on the back burner. We have kept up our license and done what we need to do to go back active as soon as we can.<br />
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Things have changed though. It seems God has other plans for us once again. About six months ago we met a young couple that was expecting and I have developed a good relationship with them. When their baby was born a little over a week ago, CPS got involved. I'm not at liberty to share details, but we were asked to care for this sweet baby boy and we willingly accepted. He has now been with us a week and has already changed my life.<br />
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We don't know what's going to happen, or how long this will be, or really many details at all. But for now we've told our kids to treat him just as we would treat our siblings. We are loving on him, taking care of his needs, and maybe spoiling him just a little too. We have been incredibly blessed by the love and support we have received from family, friends, church members, and neighbors. The love we have been shown just over 8 days time has been tremendous and brings me to tears. <br />
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We are all doing well and adjusting as smoothly as can be expected. It's already been a very emotional experience and I know it will continue to be so. But right now we are doing what the Lord has called us to do and are grateful for this opportunity to serve.<br />
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We will have one more class to take to up-grade our license to a Foster license. We plan to do that in April.<br />
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We appreciate your prayers for us and for baby boy's parents as we navigate this difficult situation. Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-20211526495381154182015-01-20T21:36:00.002-06:002015-01-20T21:36:58.898-06:00A lot to catch up onIt has been a while since my last post and there are many reasons for that. For one, my computer has been down and I really didn't want to type a blog post on my phone. Now I am using a tablet though, so it is not much better. Please pardon my typos.<br />
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Another reason for the lack of blogging has to do with all the changes my family is experiencing at this time. You see, back in October we were surprised to find out that we are expecting another little Shipp. While this wasn't exactly in our plan and timing, it clearly was in the Lord's plan. We are very excited for this new little bundle of joy and all the changes she will bring. While this is not necessarily a deterrent to adoption at this point, it certainly was something to ponder. <br />
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The biggest kink in our plans though is that Andrew has had to go out of state for work. He has always had his hand in many pots of the legal realm, but his biggest contract with the Attorney General's office was not renewed after October 31st. The state/government decided not to keep paying for that position despite the need to get the work done. So after a month of searching and searching, Andrew took a job as a landman in New Mexico. While this once again was not our plan, we are grateful for the Lord's provision. Unfortunately this means that Andrew is away from home for weeks at a time. There is great potential with this job and our initial hope was that this would lead to a landman position in Texas much closer to home. With gas prices as low as they are though, many many landmen and oil field workers are currently without a job. All of this changes things for us.<br />
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After much prayer and speaking with our case worker, we have decided that it is best to put things on hold for now. We will still do everything to maintain our license, but we will not be submitting our home study on any more children for the time being. Lord willing, we will be able to go back active as soon as Andrew has stable work back home.<br />
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In the mean time we are continuing to find ways to minister and serve those in need. We are constantly praying for the children in foster care, orphans world wide, and those in direct ministry to these children. Our hope is that many more Christians will answer the call to adoption and foster care and that one day soon He will re-open the door for us. Clearly He is in perfect control of our family.<br />
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If you have any questions for me, please feel free to ask here or send me a message. Thank you for your support and prayers. I hope that soon we will be able to give more updates with pending adoption news.<br />
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I am happy to report that Andrew has had the privilege to help in the consummation of several adoptions recently and has a few more coming up. It is such a joy for him to be a part of these special days.<br />
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<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-62026808131760751102014-10-21T10:13:00.001-05:002014-10-21T10:13:14.951-05:00Looking backIt's fun to look back at the family Christmas photos from the last 9 years of our marriage. With our 10th anniversary in January, we are hopeful that once again this year's family photo will look a little different. Here's a look back at the last 9 years.<br />
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<i>2004, the Christmas before we got married</i></div>
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<i>2005, Christmas as first time parents with a 2 week old</i></div>
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<i>2006, expecting #2</i></div>
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<i>2007, Family of Four</i></div>
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<i>2008, expecting #3</i></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HwDVAK5n6CI/VEZ0tBZR8hI/AAAAAAAAArA/R4qblrKv07k/s1600/331%2BShipp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-HwDVAK5n6CI/VEZ0tBZR8hI/AAAAAAAAArA/R4qblrKv07k/s1600/331%2BShipp.jpg" height="228" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>2009, family of five AND expecting #4</i></div>
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<i>2010, family of six</i></div>
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<i>2011, expecting #5!</i></div>
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<i>2012, family of seven</i></div>
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<i>2013, still a family of seven!</i></div>
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<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-67797021489120927982014-10-20T21:23:00.004-05:002014-10-20T21:23:44.732-05:007 months laterIt's been a year since we started our adoption journey.<br />
<br />
It's been 7 months since we've been licensed.<br />
<br />
I really thought we would have a placement by now.<br />
<br />
I remember last year before Christmas being a little sad that all of our kids weren't going to be "home for the holidays." I knew even then that our missing kids were out there somewhere. I wanted to be careful all summer with planning trips and activities. I was constantly wondering what we would do or how plans would change if we got more kids. We were licensed March 8th and I had hopeful expectations of having a placement by summer. <br />
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Now summer has come and gone. And what a wonderful summer it was! I knew in the back of my head though that as much fun as we were having and as enjoyable as it was with our kids at the ages and stages they were at that our family just wasn't complete. Now, I admit that it would probably have been a little easier without a toddler, but most things are.<br />
<br />
Each time our caseworker has a potential match for us we are shown a picture of a sibling group and told minimal details about them such as age, gender, basic reason for removal from their birth parents, and a few personal details. The first few times this happened we would plan it all out in our heads. Well, maybe Andrew didn't go that far, but I did. I would imagine where they would sleep in our home, what we would need to get for a 2 and 4 year old girl or for 3 and 5 year old boys. I would try to plan out as much as I could. I would pray for them by name and think longingly of the day they would come home to us. But that gets hard! It gets very emotional to be told we weren't the right match for this sibling group or that. It seems that just before we find out it's a "no" on one set we are shown another. Then we find out we didn't get matched with the first set and we wait another month to hear on the second set, only to then be shown a third. <br />
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I'm not sure exactly how many kids we've been shown a photo of. Maybe we are at 8 or 9 sets now. Now I try not to plan too much though. I pray for them constantly. But I can't plan. And really I don't need to. I know that we will have more warning still. Even if we are told that we were selected in the top three we would still have time to read through the kids' case file and decide if we are personally ready for that particular commitment. Then we would have more time as we wait to see if we are the #1 family. That's plenty of time for planning and making the proper arrangements. Plenty of time for more prayer!<br />
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We've recently been blessed to be part of the Foster Family Association for our county. We enjoyed getting to meet some other local foster and adoptive parents and are looking forward to being involved with them. I may have raised my hand to volunteer for something...<br />
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We continue to be blessed by this journey to adoption. We love meeting new people that are doing the same thing or going about it a little differently. I love learning about their experiences and their families. I even struck up a conversation at Chick-fil-A with an adoptive mom I'd never met before. A friend in my Bible study small group at another church is currently waiting for a match for domestic infant adoption. Another family friend is searching for a sibling in an African country. All of these people bless us. And so do you. Thanks for your continued prayers for our family.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-14296732991130460972014-08-12T10:12:00.002-05:002014-08-12T10:12:49.206-05:00Buckner Camp<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Reading <a href="http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/rehumanizing-foster-care#.U-jeRv1gOlc=">this</a> blog post from Jason Johnson reminded me that I never followed up on camp. It seems like it's been much longer than two weeks since camp but hopefully I can remember everything I wanted to tell.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The number one thing that I took away from camp is similar to the point of the linked blog post. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>They're all human.</i></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The foster parents, adoptive parents, foster kids, and adopted kids are just people. They don't stand out in a crowd. They're just kids and parents. Kids that do things for attention, that need love and correction. Parents that love, that get frustrated, that correct, and then love some more. It was very eye opening for me to look around and just see people. There are no super-powers needed to be a foster/adoptive parent!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">On our drive to camp (about 4 hours) I told Andrew that if the camp wasn't nice enough we would have to go stay in a hotel. I wasn't going to spend 3 days without air conditioning. I'm a sissy, I know. I was impressed though and we had a blast.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The camp itself was wonderful. The facilities were clean and beyond my expectations. The camp grounds were beautiful and offered much. The staff was friendly and interacted well with adults and children alike. Our cabin was a large one with two sides. On our side there were 9 sets of bunk beds and a large bathroom with multiple showers and stalls. The A/C unit worked really well too! On the other side of our cabin was another large family. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Each day started with breakfast at the cafeteria. The food was good (for camp food). Then there was a "pump it up rally" in which they tried to get everybody moving and dancing. For any of you that know the Shipps remotely well you know that this is not our thing. I actually offered the kids $1 each to dance. Gabe was the only taker at first but eventually a few others joined in. This may have been the furthest out of our comfort zone that we got the whole time. After that we had activities. We signed up for crafts one day and archery the next. We also spent a lot of time at the covered sandbox with the little ones. After lunch there was a short rest time. Both days we took a little drive so that AnnaMae would actually nap. After that was swim time. We had the choice of the nice big pool or the lake with a water slide. There was also a blob and kayaking but our kids were too young for that. They were also too young for the ropes course and zip line.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">After a little time for cleaning up we had dinner and then a short worship time all together. After that there was more time for pool swimming. The last night they had "Buckner State Fair." There were carnival games and prizes and a few "rides". Ok. Maybe THIS was the thing that made me most uncomfortable. 8-10 men on motor cycles taking the kids for a short SLOW ride around the circle and a big all-terrain type truck for kids to ride in the back. These were both terrifying to me!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We met some wonderful people. Everyone there was of course a foster or adoptive family. We were definitely the odd ones out since we don't have a placement yet. We were so glad we went though. Aside from the sheer fun of it all, we were able to talk to and connect with parents that have done what we're trying to do. Of course I met more people and talked more than Andrew did...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There was a lady that has been a foster mom for 40 years! I can't even begin to imagine the number of lives she has touched!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were families that went straight to adoption. One that just finalized with their 5 year old a few weeks before. You could see how much they were delighting in being parents for the first time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were families that have fostered-to-adopt and added to their biological families to make one BIG happy family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were many older couples that were doing foster care only. One couple was there with their 25 year old son with Cerebral Palsy and their 2 or 3 young foster daughters. And a few other older couples that had adult children but were fostering babies and young children.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were group homes represented and one little boy that kept flirting with AnnaMae, playing with Gabe, and generally giving his foster mom a handful. I could all too easily imagine him in our family.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were other large families with older high-school and college aged kids that were fostering and adopting younger children. We loved seeing these older kids tote around their younger siblings lovingly.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There were many more too. I think there were somewhere around 200 people there. It was a wonderful experience. The kids can't wait to go back next year and neither can I. But hopefully by camp next year we will have added to our family.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We continue to wait patiently for what the Lord has in store for our family. I constantly remind myself that us not being chosen by a caseworker isn't just because the caseworker flipped past our already large family. It wasn't that they just didn't like us on paper. It's because God knows the right children and the perfect timing for us. His plans are perfect.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We are blessed by all those we met and by this whole process. Our eyes have already been opened to new things and we wait with excitement and anxiousness to see what else we will learn along the way.</span>Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-64073465079520801472014-07-25T22:04:00.000-05:002014-07-25T22:04:39.513-05:00What's HappeningWe've had a very busy summer with travel, moving, a snake bite, and much more. And things aren't slowing down yet. Tomorrow we are headed to Camp Buckner with many other foster and adoptive families. We are really looking forward to this time of connecting with other families and the time together with our own family. I am particularly interested to see how our kids interact with the other children there.<br />
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We also just submitted our home study on another sibling set. Please pray that the Lord would guide their caseworker to just the right family for them.<br />
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When we get back from camp we've got some work to do to get our new house ready to be inspected but it shouldn't be too bad. It's a whole lot easier going into it when we know exactly what to expect. We also owe our caseworker a book report to show that we are continuing our foster/adoptive education while we wait for a placement. <br />
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So, in a nutshell, that's what's going on with us. I'll update more after camp. Also, please check in with our facebook page to pray along with us for the foster kids in Texas. www.facebook.com/shippadoptionRachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-9993661491587682482014-06-26T10:13:00.001-05:002014-06-26T10:13:21.102-05:00Praying for Foster KidsIf you've been following our facebook page you'll know that we've been sharing a link each day to a foster child in this area. The goal is to raise awareness of these kids and to pray for them by name. So far we have shared 14 kids. There is one photo left on the <a href="http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption_and_Foster_Care/Texas_Heart_Galleries/DeepEastTexas/DETHeartGallery1.asp">Heart Gallery of Deep East Texas</a> page. This is just barely scratching the surface! Next we will move to a different area of the Heart Gallery. There are also more children listed on the <a href="https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/application/TARE/Search.aspx/Children">DFPS</a> website. On that website you can see sibling groups of 4, 5, or even more. Here's a listing for a sibling set of <a href="https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Application/TARE/Group.aspx/Siblings/76900">five</a> that need a forever family.<br />
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Please continue to follow along and pray with us that the love of Christ would be poured out on them.<br />
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<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-16820760015216377232014-06-05T11:08:00.002-05:002014-06-05T11:10:37.940-05:00Let's PrayI've been overwhelmed by how little I can actually do for these kids. I can't take them all in. I can't fix their problems, the "system", or help their biological parents get back on their feet. What I can do though is pray for them. And when it comes down to it that's the most important thing anyone can do. <br />
Starting today, I'll be praying through the <a href="https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Adoption_and_Foster_Care/Texas_Heart_Galleries/default.asp">Texas Heart Gallery</a> listings, beginning with Deep East Texas. Each day I'll go down the list to the next child and pray for that child by name. I'll be listing them on my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ShippAdoption">FaceBook page</a>. Please join me in praying for these kids.<br />
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I know adoption isn't for everyone and I don't presume to imply that every Christian should adopt. But we are all called to care for them. And we can care for them by praying. It's a great start.<br />
<div class="heading passage-class-0" style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq" style="color: #5c1101;">
<span style="font-size: large;">James 1:27<br /><br /><span class="text Jas-1-27" id="en-ESV-30277">Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30277A" title="See cross-reference A">A</a>)"></span>to visit <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30277B" title="See cross-reference B">B</a>)"></span>orphans and widows in their affliction, and <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30277C" title="See cross-reference C">C</a>)"></span>to keep oneself <span class="crossreference" style="font-weight: bold; vertical-align: top;" value="(<a href="#cen-ESV-30277D" title="See cross-reference D">D</a>)"></span>unstained from the world.</span></span></blockquote>
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<h3>
<b style="color: #5c1101;"><br /></b><b style="color: #5c1101;"><br /></b><b><span style="color: blue;">If you're joining me in prayer, let's start here, with <a href="https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Application/TARE/Child.aspx/Profile/78412">Lee</a>.</span><span style="color: #5c1101;"> </span></b></h3>
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Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-8506841305315252632014-06-04T09:42:00.000-05:002014-06-04T09:42:10.280-05:00The system is flawedI can't help but think we (Christians) are not doing enough.<br />
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Look through the <a href="https://www.dfps.state.tx.us/adoption_and_foster_care/Texas_Heart_Galleries/default.asp">Texas Heart Gallery</a> and see their faces. Glimpse into their lives. You won't know their stories, but you can see their heartbreak in their eyes.<br />
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We recently told our caseworker that we were interested in a little boy we found on the Heart Gallery website. He was a little older than we initially had been interested in, but something about this little boy drew us in. There was a photo and a video clip about him. Our oldest especially loved that this little boy's favorite foods are the same as his - pizza and pancakes. <br />
When we heard back from his caseworker and ours we found out that this little boy is considered very aggressive and has been in a residential treatment center for two years. My heart sunk. I am sad and angry. I don't have those feelings for myself, but for him and so many others like him. Of course I can't bring a "very aggressive" child into my home. I'm not equipped to help him or handle him and put the rest of my kids at risk in that way. But there's got to be more for him.<br />
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The way things are now, this boy is unlikely to ever get adopted. No doubt his is on high doses of medications to "moderate" his behavior. Whatever trauma was in his early life likely caused him to start acting out in a foster home. He wasn't stable or secure and things just got worse from there. They started medicating him and things continued to escalate. (This is all speculation of course.) Now he is in a place that he is unlikely to come back from. He's dependent on drugs, legal though they may be. And what happens when he ages out of the system? He's let go with no familial attachments, no experience for what a real relationship with a family (or Christ) can be like, no job skills, no income, no support. He can't pay for his drugs that he's become dependent on after years of subduing his symptoms instead of healing him from the inside out. What happens to this young man? <br />
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There's got to be a better way. Christians have got to step in and help. Do more. Do SOMETHING. If this boy had been given a chance by an older Christian couple with parenting experience but no other children at home, he could have been directed on the right path. He could have been LOVED instead of drugged. He could have been parented instead of "treated." My heart breaks for him. I wish I could do more for him.<br />
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I know I don't have any personal experience with mood altering medications. I know I don't have first hand experience with these traumatized kids. But I do think that kids in general are being medicated FAR too much instead of parented and loved. (And not just kids in foster care.) <br />
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I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Experiences? If we can't fix this, how can we at least improve it? How can we, as Christians, help kids like this little boy now and in their future?Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-55650032556992845422014-05-30T14:46:00.000-05:002014-05-30T14:46:12.815-05:00Life as we know itIt's been a while since I've posted. I haven't really had much to say. (Shocking, I know.) You probably know by now that we were not selected for the most recent sibling group that we had submitted our home study for. I didn't take it as hard as I expected to but it was still difficult. If waiting for children is this hard I can only imagine how difficult it is for the children waiting for a family.<br />
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When we first submitted our home study and then shortly thereafter submitted again I had a hard time with the planning part. I want to plan and be as prepared as we possibly can be but there's really only a tiny bit I can plan. I also wanted to put everything else on hold. I had a hard time planning for family trips or events not knowing if we would have more children or not. I think I've finally let go of that.<br />
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Life is continuing for us. Life is good. The big boys are out of school for summer and we've made it a full week into summer vacation. We have lots of activities and trips planned and it's really nice that the kids are at a point that we can go, go, go and they don't fall apart quite so much. Last weekend we attended six parties in four days and nobody completely melted down! Now, if you're reading this and you know me even a little bit, you know how much I enjoy social events. Even with a hefty 21 month old on my back sneaking in a 20 minute nap here and there, it was w wonderful weekend. The other four kids did their own things, checking in with me here and there and enjoying their friends and activities. Did I mention how delightful it all was? <br />
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When we're doing all these fun things I often think about what it's going to be like when we add to our family. Will we get a six year old boy to even things out with the boys? He can bunk with the boys and play legos and ride bikes and go on camping trips. Or will we get 3 and 4 year old girls that will keep us all on our toes and play dress up with the girls and squeal and giggle? Or will we rock the boat and add a boy at the bottom and a girl at the top? See what I mean? The possibilities are kind of crazy. It's so much easier giving birth! <br />
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I wish I could take a peek at God's chapter on the Shipp family. I want to know what He has in store for us! Should we go ahead and get licensed for foster care and welcome and embrace one child (since there's a limit of six children in the home for foster care)? We would likely have a placement much sooner, but it wouldn't likely be a forever thing. We could specify a very young child and give that child as much love and stability as we possibly can and wait to see what happens. Should we look at other adoption resource sights and look at children all over the country? Should we just sit back and wait for the right child/children to fall into our lap? I know that whatever we do God will use it for our good and His glory. But I just want to do the right thing.<br />
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As you can see, I'm full of questions today. But I'm content with where we are right this minute. (And that's not just because the little one is napping.) It's still so weird having a 21 month old baby of the family. Any other time I've had a 21 month old I've either had a newborn or been very near to delivery. I don't know if this toddler is busier than all the rest were or if I'm just more aware of it. She's definitely busy though!<br />
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Would you continue to pray for us as we seek to discern God's direction and will for our family? And as we try for patience and peace with His perfect plan? And pray for our future child/children to know the love of the Father, and to be well connected and safe with their current foster family.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-9452142889929152432014-05-14T15:31:00.001-05:002014-05-14T15:31:20.524-05:00New Dear Caseworker letterI needed to feel like I'm doing SOMETHING during this waiting period so I wrote a new "Dear Caseworker" letter. I'm hoping to grab their attention a little more. This will be laid out with our family photo like the last one. Please, tell me what you think.<br />
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<div class="Body">
Dear Caseworker,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Yes, you counted correctly.
There are 7 people in our family.
Before you put this letter away though, I want you to know how much love
our family has and how much more we have to offer. If you can<span lang="FR">’</span>t imagine having this many (or more!) children, please consider our
family experience as on-the-job training. We have a lot of it! We deeply desire to add to our family and to
help provide children in need with a loving, safe, and secure <i><span lang="DA">forever</span></i> family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
I<span lang="FR">’</span>m Rachel, the
mom of this crew. I<span lang="FR">’</span>m 32
years old and have a BA in photography.
I currently use that degree taking pictures of my children in their day-to-day
lives as I stay home with them and am constantly entertained. I am so thankful that I get the opportunity
to stay home and care for my children and my home and manage our
household. I<span lang="FR">’</span>m living my childhood dream of being a
wife and mother.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
My husband Andrew is 30, and has a law degree from Baylor
University. In his practice as an attorney in Nacogdoches he does work for the
Attorney General<span lang="FR">’</span>s Child
Support Office, takes court appointed criminal cases, does business planning,
estate planning and probate. While he
keeps busy with work, he always has time for the family. Eating dinner together each night is a
priority for us both.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
We have been married for nine years and have known since we were
dating that we wanted to adopt. We weren<span lang="FR">’</span>t sure what that would look like
for us, but we knew we wanted a big family. We have several friends that have
adopted through the foster care system that have lead us and turned our hearts
towards these children. We have spent many years in thoughtful consideration
and prayer over this decision. In October of 2013 we began our journey to
adoption, were licensed in March of 2014, and now we eagerly wait to add to our
family. Our children are anxious,
too. Each day they pray for and ask
about their future siblings. They are
excited to welcome new brothers and sisters and share their lives with
them. They already know what it<span lang="FR">’</span>s like to share and love and will
sincerely welcome more children into our home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Gabe is our 9 year-old athlete, musician, and best big
brother. Jonah is our affectionate,
tenderhearted, helpful 7 year-old. Liam,
the constant entertainer, is 5. Our
first little princess, Maggie, is 3 and full of spunk. And little AnnaMae, the dare-devil, is almost
2. I know it sounds like we already have
our hands full, but I like to tell people, we really only have one hand
full! Sure, more children would be more
mouths to feed, more to educate and clothe.
But more importantly, it<span lang="FR">’</span>s
more to love, more to share life with, more to grow old with. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
We hope that you will consider placing children with our
family. We would love to share our
hearts, our home, our faith, and our lives.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="Body">
<br /></div>
<div class="Body">
Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="Body">
Andrew and Rachel Shipp<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-28731418163102039412014-05-12T11:50:00.000-05:002014-05-12T11:50:01.321-05:0030 Days of PrayerMay is National Foster Care Month and Buckner has been sending out a daily prayer guide along with a short devotional each day. Today's message was powerful for me. <br /><br />
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<strong>Should the Right Thing Be the Easy Thing?</strong></div>
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<em>Scripture: <a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001ECGN79TJLy5NbriWfTLFyxM3iP7BvWoKcU04qO_jWUB_r25LyCh6cDxg324j53cQ7Cngqv36N1flJR6FsTPl6wGIXOT8y8sdRKRoIlfDkKJRlTGD8-Nx09FuMTPiG3Zc6w5GMf-oyEuV1kHVeryJElP9YUfQKz9eU_WVFvKQKAolga1Rd7EK47zEqaaZ3Cwvbj7emtvx4e-OA81MPKxTVVGrYWNtEJ0hF3S8jbvKY4GCDmJW0ese7-LkD8hK73B9&c=mnYWHZ23cRUV4C0UwbTHtU0y46PBAkzUxk7pivXwaM2Jdw5d0yLfFg==&ch=f8D4ezK-V9qB147A0Xo9iavht14H6ASKK6ihOKM6H1bi9G6yBcHmiw==" shape="rect" style="color: blue; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Isaiah 51:7</a></em></div>
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Recently I've been learning that just because something is hard, it does not mean it is wrong and just because something is easy, it does not mean it is right. Like many Christians, I determined the will of God through circumstances alone. God has been consistently showing me in His Word, however, that there are more scenarios where the easy thing was not the right thing, but the right thing was the hardest thing ever.</div>
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God's Word is full of examples of people doing the right thing no matter the cost and no matter how it appeared to those around them. My favorite is that of Joseph and Mary. Joseph could have walked away. But instead, he and Mary chose to do the hardest thing for them in their culture. They chose to stay in their hometown, in their small community of family, friends and neighbors, and to raise a child that appeared to be born out of wedlock. Certainly not everyone in the community was accepting and supportive of their choice. I wonder how many times Mary and Joseph had to listen to comments or endure looks? It would have been so much easier to move to a place where no one knew them or their past. I would have been tempted to follow this path.</div>
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During our first adoption journey, I was initially surprised, shocked and disappointed that not everyone shared our enthusiasm for adoption. It was difficult to understand why others were not excited and supportive of our decision, especially those within our own family. Even church acquaintances and people who we thought were friends surprised us with their reaction. Many of them looked at us like we were crazy; some even said so out loud. This was so hurtful and shocking.</div>
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If you ever experience something similar, please take heart. There may be people who will not congratulate you for making what seems to them like a very unwise or illogical decision. Always keep in mind the words from Isaiah 51:7, "Hear me, you who know what is right, you people who have taken my instruction to heart: Do not fear the reproach of mere mortals or be terrified by their insults."</div>
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When you care for the fatherless <span style="letter-spacing: -2px;">----</span> whether it is for a day, a week, or for a lifetime <span style="letter-spacing: -2px;">----</span> it is simply the RIGHT THING to do no matter how hard it is. May He give you the strength to do the right thing, the hard thing and the best thing ever.</div>
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<em>Cheri Walroad and her husband, Paul are parents to six children. Their youngest three children were adopted in 2003, 2006 and 2008. Cheri works to help other adoptive families find the financing options they need to realize their dream of adoption through her website Resources4adoption.com </em></div>
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<strong>Prayer Guide: </strong></div>
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Pray that the Lord would give strength and courage to those called to adopt. May they endure the journey, though it may not be easy, and friends and family won't always understand.</div>
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Pray that children in foster care would know the love and protection of the Father to the fatherless (<a href="http://r20.rs6.net/tn.jsp?f=001ECGN79TJLy5NbriWfTLFyxM3iP7BvWoKcU04qO_jWUB_r25LyCh6cF_irQYNaz0xbgQmY_7yTyAzGemE1-sNxQYhPkrk1tdgBMQe2bmgDVepxgurgmrlaMw4rbod6PsPkIkOt2_Hc4-9NI-giLCruluzvPmTAeVCXRmBEdyttlbyv6sUtwnzZjIxNcRgEc4KFPKoKoBHoYj2vgMmR6nYvRFsAUQkjf1VvAGYYl7QzzbfpB3hRZY2oPI9JZ8P0bUH&c=mnYWHZ23cRUV4C0UwbTHtU0y46PBAkzUxk7pivXwaM2Jdw5d0yLfFg==&ch=f8D4ezK-V9qB147A0Xo9iavht14H6ASKK6ihOKM6H1bi9G6yBcHmiw==" shape="rect" style="color: #3fffff; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Psalm 68:5</a>).</div>
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Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-4985273727781869462014-04-23T14:16:00.001-05:002014-04-23T14:16:32.635-05:00Post adoptive conversationsI've been following several other adoptive family blogs and a common discussion among adoptive parents is fielding the post adoptive questions. Where did you get them? What happened to their real mom? How much did it cost? Etc. <br />
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These <a href="http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2012/02/it-okay-to-ask-if-someones-kids-are.html">posts</a> have got me thinking. The general consensus I've read and heard from other adoptive parents is that they are happy to answer your questions, just not in front of the children. I think this will be particularly hard for me because I'm typically a pretty open book. I like to talk. (I'm sure you're shocked by this revelation!) My tendency is to share too much. So when it comes time to deal with my adopted children's stories, I'm going to have to really restrain myself. I don't want to make them uncomfortable or feel any different than they already will. It will definitely be a challenge for me.<br />
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I'd love to hear your input on this topic. What do you adoptive parents think is ok or not ok? What about those that haven't adopted? Do you have opinions or thoughts on this subject?<br />
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I hope that one day soon we will be figuring this all out first hand, but for now we're reading, talking, and praying.<br />
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Please continue to pray with us and for us. Our children are out there somewhere without us. We are ready to bring them home and begin life as a whole family. The waiting game is hard on us and I can only imagine how difficult it is for them.<br />
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Liam's birthday is tomorrow. I was talking with him today and teasing him about not letting him turn 5 because I like 4 year olds so much. He replied, "well then I guess we need to adopt a 4 year old!"Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-48745051883059877392014-04-14T14:01:00.001-05:002014-04-14T20:54:48.954-05:00On Faith and Why some still disagree with our decisionI know there are some out there that still don't get why we are taking this on. Answering a calling isn't enough. Why would we do this when we already have a hand full of children. Why now and not later? Or those that support the idea of adoption and think it's a noble or ambitious thing to do, but that we in particular shouldn't be doing it because of the aforementioned children we already have. Someone that barely knows us said, "you must have a lot of faith to be doing this." I didn't know exactly how they meant that, but my answer is "yes."<br />
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Adopting does take faith. Lots of faith. It takes faith for God to adopt us as His children. It takes faith in knowing what's important to God and how we should make those things important to us. We are told:<br />
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<b><i>correct oppression and bring justice to the fatherless</i>. </b><b>Is. 1:16-17</b> </blockquote>
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<b><i>give justice to the weak and fatherless</i>. Ps. 82:1</b> </blockquote>
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<b>He <i>sets the lonely in families</i>. Ps. 68:6</b> </blockquote>
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<b>He is <i>father to the fatherless</i>. Ps. 68:5</b></blockquote>
This is the faith that we are living through adoption. Our adoption, passed down to the next generation. We don't need to wait to be faithful. <br />
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In 2012 there were 101,719 orphans in foster care in the US waiting to be adopted. In 2012, 23,439 children aged out of foster care, entering their adult life with no parents, no help. There were 52.039 adoptions in 2012. There are an estimated 17.8 MILLION orphans world wide. I can't help them all, but I can help one...or two...or three. <br />
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I think every Christian I've talked to about adoption says that they would instantly take a child (infant) that was laid in their lap. If it meant stopping one abortion, they would absolutely take that child and save their life. And I admit, I thought the same too. I thought that some day God would place a child in my path in this way. But then I thought again. There are thousands of children, right here in the state of Texas, whose birth parents did choose life but due to so many other reasons, can't or don't love and care for those children now. (I encourage you to read this<a href="http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/why-foster-care-is-necessary#.U0wE8_ldV1Y"> <u>post.</u></a> Really. Go read it.) God doesn't call us to only care for infant orphans.<br />
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It will be hard. These kids are coming from seriously messed up places. They'll have baggage. They'll still be hurting. And their lives will never be "normal" because of their history. But we can bring them into our fold. Love them. Raise them in a Christian home. Give them a future to help overcome their past.<br />
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My comfort this week has been this verse.<br />
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<i><b>God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way to escape also, that you may be able to endure it. I Cor. 10:13b</b></i></blockquote>
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Another concern that has been voiced is the money aspect of taking in more kids. "How will you pay for it?" "How will you pay for college?" etc. The answer to these questions and others like them is, "With sacrifice, with joy and thanksgiving." Even the most financially secure person has hardships, surprises, and challenges. But we are at peace with where we are financially and what our future looks like from our vantage point. We will cut back on this to pay for that. We won't go on big vacations so that we can afford private education. We don't have to pay for college and likely won't. We'll do the same things most big families do: hand me downs, share everything, not eat fancy foods all the time, not eat out often, drive used vehicles, and so on. We are willing to make the sacrifices it takes to raise and love more kids. Earthly possessions and experiences aren't what matter. Eternal life and salvation are.<br />
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And if you still doubt our ability to do this, think about this. You may not know our financial situation, but our adoption agency does. They know our numbers, nothing held back, and they still say we can reasonably take in up to three more children. They have experience in this and they've said we're fine.<br />
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Another concern comes from people who don't have large families. This is a question we get all the time anyway with five kids and we got it every time we announced a pregnancy. "How can you manage so many people and stay sane?" I'll say this, not everyone can. I've always thought that having a large family is a calling. Not every couple manages children the same. Some are completely overwhelmed by two, or five, or fifteen. I think personality has a huge role in this. But also, big families just operate differently than small or average size families. That's not a bad thing. My kids certainly know that they are loved. They have my attention when they need it. They are each a very important part of our family and add something special to our whole. And each adopted child will have all the joys and privileges of being part of this family.<br />
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If only the wealthy adopted we'd have an even bigger orphan problem. If only those without children adopted, we'd have a bigger problem. Sure, wealthy people with no children can give an adopted child everything. They can buy them anything they want, take them on trips, never require anything of them. But if you could ask an orphaned child what they long for, what do you think they would say? <br />
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We have been blessed by so many supportive friends and family members. I know that when we bring more children into our home, they will be loved and embraced by our community. These kids will have more than two parents and siblings that love them and are part of their lives. Their little worlds will be changed. <br />
Those few unsupportive people make it difficult though. They make an already difficult situation harder. But we still have great joy in the Lord as we seek to live out His gospel through adoption. I wish that everyone could see our hearts and know what drives us. But ultimately that doesn't matter.<br />
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<i><b>Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-3</b></i></blockquote>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We don't adopt because we want more kids.</span> <br />
We do want more kids, but that's not the driving force.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We don't adopt because we think it's a nice thing to do.</span> <br />
It is nice, but that's not why.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">We don't adopt because we will be the best parents in the world.</span> <br />
We adopt because HE is the best parent and HE adopted us.<br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>We adopt because of the gospel.</b></span><br />
<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-18366739934495738032014-04-01T14:09:00.001-05:002014-04-01T19:04:23.378-05:00What's going onWant to know what's going on in our little world? Not a whole lot. Or at least nothing huge. I'm trying to be a little more orderly in my day to day life. I even went so far as to create a daily schedule for me and the little ones. We haven't really stuck to it, but it gives us a place to look when we're bored. I'm also trying to be more intentional with one on one time with the kids. I know that when we do get an adoptive placement it's going to disrupt EVERYTHING so it would be nice if we already have a good routine to fall back into. I know that routine will be even more important for the future little Shipps. <br />
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Our current system is that each kid has their own day of the week. G is Monday, J is Tuesday, L is Wednesday, and M is Thursday. AM doesn't get one yet but she will when she starts noticing or when she moves out of the baby bed. <br />
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Privileges on each child's given day are:<br />
* Sit by mama at dinner<br />
* Say the prayer over dinner<br />
* Run errands with a parent if they're happening that night<br />
* Mom or dad snuggle in their bed for a few minutes chatting and visiting at bed time<br />
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I know it doesn't seem like much, but for now it makes a difference. Each child really looks forward to their own day. I also like having the weekends open since we tend to have people over on the weekends and I'm not as available at bed time, etc. I suppose when AM moves up and when we have more children that we'll have to double up and split some of those privileges a little. Even though we have a big-ish family, this little bit of one on one really makes a difference. <br />
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Another change we've made in anticipation of adoption is changing up discipline a little bit. Spanking is a taboo subject, so I won't go into that too much other than to say that when kids are in foster care you can't spank them. When we get a placement, the kids will still be considered to be in foster care until the adoption is finalized around 6 months later. So no spanking. And even once the adoption is consummated, that may not be the best idea anyway. It's also discouraged to spank biological children in front of the foster children (for obvious reasons). And we don't want to confuse anybody or make one child feel like they're different than the other. So this is where Daddy Dollars come in.<br />
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Another adoptive mom turned us on to this. It's a reward and consequence system. The kids earn daddy dollars for doing their daily chores. We often offer extras for extra chores or for helping a sibling. The kids that are in school also get daddy dollars for exceptional grades. They can also lose daddy dollars for disobedience, disrespect, bad attitude, etc. We even have one kiddo who constantly forgets to put his name on his school work (and loses points at school for it) and so we've started deducting daddy dollars for that too (a little extra incentive.) We typically pay out once a week. If any daddy dollars are owed though that is done immediately. They each keep up with their own dollars.<br />
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Roughly every two weeks the Mommy Market opens. (Catchy, isn't it?) The mommy market contains various things. We've currently got an assortment of dollar tree toys, decks of cards, batteries, candy, mechanical pencils and mini note pads. In the past we've also had things like gloves, fun socks, toy baby bottles, finger paint (bad idea!), erasers, nun-chucks (also a bad idea), and lego men. In addition to these items, we also have "gift certificates" for a dinner date with one parent, a movie date with one parent, and i-tunes credit. Prices vary on these items from 2 for 1 daddy dollar to 25 daddy dollars. Sometimes they spend it all and sometimes they save it up to buy a big ticket item. (And the prices may change at any time!) They all love going to the mommy market. It's exciting every time. They also have some input on what items we put in the mommy market. Sometimes they'll ask for something at the store and I can't just buy every little thing they want, but I can buy it and they can work for it.<br />
I must admit, this system has been better for rewards than for discipline. That's my own fault though because I forget to take them away. I need to get more on top of that. (For those readers that don't know me, my kids range from 1.5 to 8. The youngest doesn't participate in this, but the 3 yr old does and loves it.)<br />
You can make your own daddy dollars <a href="http://www.festisite.com/money/">here</a> in any denomination or type of money.<br />
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For now, we take each day as it comes. We never know when we're going to get a call or email that will change our lives forever. We try to plan what we can but we wait and trust the Lord's timing and provision for everything else. I'm ready to bring my kids home and do all these little day to day things with them. I can't wait to take them to the zoo and to continue our fun, crazy Build-A-Bear tradition we started with our first kiddo. I can't wait to see their little personalities, to introduce them to family and friends, take them to church and teach them about Jesus. I know it's going to be hard. It's probably a good thing I don't know just how hard it's going to be, but I don't think I'm completely in the dark here. I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for us!Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-87518992289014705722014-03-19T13:39:00.001-05:002014-03-19T13:39:24.545-05:00Not This TimeOur case worker called this morning and told me what I expected to hear. We did not get the girls. I'm surprisingly not that upset about it. When we first submitted our home study for them I thought about them constantly and didn't sleep well because I was thinking about them. Then, after we got info on another sibling set, my mind was filled with both of them. It's been so nice to be able to pray for these children and to associate a name with a face. But out prayers have been that these children would be blessed with loving parents and a forever home. I am happy to report that these two little girls now have a forever home. I presume that it will be a loving one.<br />
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It was almost too good to be true anyway. What are the odds of being licensed in three months and getting an adoptive placement immediately? We also learned through this that our older boys would really like another brother. We wait to see what the Lord has in store for us and we know that His timing is perfect and His plan for our family is perfect. We didn't get these two girls, but they did get a home. That's the point of adoption. It's not about finding kids for families. It's about finding families for kids.<br />
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I'm not sure if we will report here each time that we submit and are not chosen. I'm sure I'll have an idea of how long it takes and how many submissions. I'm a little afraid that our family size will deter the case workers, but again, that is all in the Lord's hands. Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-66037508007777255262014-03-18T16:04:00.001-05:002014-03-18T16:04:35.708-05:00I love our case workerHave I told you how great our case worker is? And how wonderful it has been working with Buckner? I must admit that I was a little less than excited about being somewhat forced to go with a private agency. (You can read about that in some of my earlier posts.) But now that we are where we are, I couldn't be happier. I know that the private agency case workers end up with a much smaller case load and can give more attention to each family. I had heard that and was afraid of that too. I didn't think that more attention from CPS was a good thing. I was wrong. I love having a case worker that thinks about me, even when I'm not right in front of her. She emails me to tell me things even when I haven't asked. Just today she sent an email to check in with us and to let me know she had sent an email to the little girls' case worker to see what's happening on that case. We both knew that their case worker said she hoped to make a decision by last Friday. As much as I wanted to, I didn't even have to call and bug her about finding out. She did it all on her own. And she let me know! In a time when good customer service is pretty hard to find, I didn't expect to have such a caring and thoughtful case worker. We definitely won the lottery on this one.<br />
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She hasn't been doing this for very long. I'm guessing she's early to mid twenties and pretty fresh out of college. She has told us we are the first family that she has gone through the whole process with. She was my first point of contact with Buckner, did our first informational meeting, and all the training classes. I know she's done some of those things with other families, but we are the first family she will see start to finish. I think she's pretty proud of how quickly we've gotten licensed. (That took effort on both parts and of course, God's perfect timing.)<br />
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We've also been blessed to connect with the adoption case manager at our local CPS office. He is the one we met at our first CPS informational meeting. We clicked with him right away too and he is actually the one that helped point us in the direction of Buckner. He and his wife adopted through Buckner a few years ago since CPS workers can't adopt directly through CPS. We met back up with him a few weeks ago at the adoption event and enjoyed our visit. Andrew also met with him today as he was doing some paper work to get on the list of adoption attorneys for CPS. What a blessing it has been to work with these two fine, caring, Christian people.<br />
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The are also thankful to have met the little girls' case worker. She was very kind and easy to talk to. I hope that meeting her and talking to her face to face was advantageous for us. I've been afraid that having a large family to begin with would be a deterrent to other case workers. A friend pointed out though just how subjective the whole system can be. It's really up to the kids' case workers. If they've had good experiences with big families, they will work in our favor. If they've had bad experiences with big families, they'll scratch us off the list quickly. I hope that they are intrigued enough by our Dear Case worker letter to at least look into us more.<br />
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We are still waiting to hear anything. We are trying not to get our hopes up. Our kids are asking and anxious. They are all excited about new siblings. We pray for them daily. We are already a big happy family, but hope to soon be an even <span style="font-size: large;"><b>bigger</b></span> happy family.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-30393623886938527212014-03-16T20:49:00.001-05:002014-03-16T20:49:11.780-05:00T-shirts<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;">I'm asking again in case anyone missed this. We are selling t-shirts to raiser awareness for adoption and to help fund some of our adoption related expenses. The pre-order closes on Friday. You can click the link in the comments to order or you can send me a message and I'll take down your info. They're $20 for local pick up and $25 shipped. </span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;">The link to the order spread sheet is (</span><a href="https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkTJTWgNwnvydGhsbTZvQnFJczdzUUxBWkJCVUtlUUE&usp=sharing#gid=0" rel="nofollow" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">https://docs.google.com/spreadsheet/ccc?key=0AkTJTWgNwnvydGhsbTZvQnFJczdzUUxBWkJCVUtlUUE&usp=sharing#gid=0</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;">)</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px;">Find us on facebook at </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/ShippAdoption" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17.940000534057617px; text-decoration: none;">https://www.facebook.com/ShippAdoption</a><br /><br /><br />
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Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-56116829281718199982014-03-07T17:17:00.000-06:002014-03-07T17:17:38.953-06:00Busy BeeI'm trying to keep myself busy with projects so that I can keep my mind off the possibilities. Since we've submitted our home study on the two little girls, we have been notified about another adorable sibling group. (I really wish I could share pictures with you all!) Seeing their pictures makes it all very real. I like knowing their names and being able to pray for them specifically, even if they aren't meant to be in our family. In the mean time though, my mind is racing. <br /><br />In case you don't know this about me, I'm a planner. I want a plan A, B, and C at the very least. I want to know where our potential kids are going to sit in the car, around the table, and at church. I want to plan their birthday parties. I want to think up fun nick names for them. I want to plan our future photo shoots so that one day I can share them with everyone. But I can't. Not only do I not know when or if we will get the call on these little girls. I don't know when we'll get a call on anyone. And if we get a call, I don't know how long it will take or when we will get whomever they are. I can't plan. And it's driving me nuts.<br />
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Today I busied myself with a couple of sewing projects for the girls. When I told Andrew that I had fabric for the girls he gave me the look. He suspected I was already sewing for new kids. I wasn't. But that doesn't mean I didn't think about it. And besides, I can always get more and make them matching outfits too!<br />
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It's comforting knowing that our great God has had our family planned from before time began. I don't know who will be in our family, what they will look like, their age, or gender, or anything. But the Lord knows. And it's a perfect plan.</div>
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In the mean time, I'm making lots of lists and crossing many things off. Next up, cleaning out the freezers. I'm making as many plans as I can. I'll probably have a whole alphabet of scenarios figured out before we know anything. And then none of them will work. It's fun to dream though.</div>
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Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-58269000081097428992014-03-01T16:21:00.000-06:002014-03-02T16:13:45.829-06:00The Adoption EventThe event went well. At least from our perspective. There were about 12 couples there, mostly from out of town. I think there was one other local couple. The first hour was without the kids there. The CPS workers told us what to expect, what kind of questions were off limits, and generally how to interact with the kids. We also all introduced ourselves to one another and the CPS workers. Danielle, our case worker, came too. Only private agency workers came with their prospective adoptive parents. We were so glad to have Danielle there with us. <br />
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During the orientation there were pictures around the room of many of the kids that would be present, including a sibling set of two little girls. From the moment I saw it, I knew that was what we were there for. I jokingly asked the case worker if we could hide that picture so that no one else would see. We quickly identified the girls' case worker and made it a point to talk to her at length since these little girls weren't present. (No kids under age 5 were there.)<br />
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There were about 12-15 kids there. They had activities spread out for the kids to do and the prospective adoptive parents to participate in with the kids. The petting zoo was the biggest hit. We only actually interacted with one teenage girl. I can't imagine how hard that was for her!<br />
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We were able to meet several CPS workers that will be great contacts. Hopefully they will advocate for us as well. (I think they will.) At the end of the day we were able to submit our home study for those two little girls. They are here in town and their case worker said that they really want to find a local family for the girls. I can't give much information about them (I wish I could share their picture with you all!), but please be praying for them and for us during this waiting period. The case worker said that she hopes to have the home studies reviewed and narrowed down to three families within two weeks. <br />
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This may or may not be it for us, but we are so glad we went to the event. Please pray for all that are involved in this case. We know that the Lord will accomplish His will.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-25208348227706548472014-02-27T12:34:00.002-06:002014-02-27T12:34:39.756-06:00T-shirtsOrders will open on Friday for t-shirts. Check back here or at our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ShippAdoption?ref=hl">facebook page</a> for details on ordering.<br />
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<br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-86683370808730846562014-02-21T15:49:00.002-06:002014-02-21T15:49:44.575-06:00Adoption Fair<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I just got the call from the caseworker saying that she has completed our home study and sent in our registration for the adoption fair. Nervousness and excitement commence now.<br /><br />Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507099936711911550.post-42596640061759782922014-02-20T15:58:00.006-06:002014-02-20T15:58:55.839-06:00Facebook PageIn case you wanted another way to keep up with us, we have a new facebook page. You can find us <a href="https://www.facebook.com/ShippAdoption">here</a>.<br />
This will be the place to order t-shirts.Rachel S.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03133788894909945310noreply@blogger.com0