Looking back

It's fun to look back at the family Christmas photos from the last 9 years of our marriage.  With our 10th anniversary in January, we are hopeful that once again this year's family photo will look a little different.  Here's a look back at the last 9 years.

2004, the Christmas before we got married

2005, Christmas as first time parents with a 2 week old

2006, expecting #2

2007, Family of Four

2008, expecting #3

2009, family of five AND expecting #4

2010, family of six

2011, expecting #5!

2012, family of seven

2013, still a family of seven!

7 months later

It's been a year since we started our adoption journey.

It's been 7 months since we've been licensed.

I really thought we would have a placement by now.

I remember last year before Christmas being a little sad that all of our kids weren't going to be "home for the holidays."  I knew even then that our missing kids were out there somewhere.  I wanted to be careful all summer with planning trips and activities.  I was constantly wondering what we would do or how plans would change if we got more kids.  We were licensed March 8th and I had hopeful expectations of having a placement by summer.

Now summer has come and gone.  And what a wonderful summer it was!   I knew in the back of my head though that as much fun as we were having and as enjoyable as it was with our kids at the ages and stages they were at that our family just wasn't complete.  Now, I admit that it would probably have been a little easier without a toddler, but most things are.

Each time our caseworker has a potential match for us we are shown a picture of a sibling group and told minimal details about them such as age, gender, basic reason for removal from their birth parents, and a few personal details.  The first few times this happened we would plan it all out in our heads.  Well, maybe Andrew didn't go that far, but I did.  I would imagine where they would sleep in our home, what we would need to get for a 2 and 4 year old girl or for 3 and 5 year old boys.  I would try to plan out as much as I could.  I would pray for them by name and think longingly of the day they would come home to us.  But that gets hard!  It gets very emotional to be told we weren't the right match for this sibling group or that.  It seems that just before we find out it's a "no" on one set we are shown another.  Then we find out we didn't get matched with the first set and we wait another month to hear on the second set, only to then be shown a third.

I'm not sure exactly how many kids we've been shown a photo of.  Maybe we are at 8 or 9 sets now. Now I try not to plan too much though.  I pray for them constantly.  But I can't plan.  And really I don't need to.  I know that we will have more warning still.  Even if we are told that we were selected in the top three we would still have time to read through the kids' case file and decide if we are personally ready for that particular commitment.  Then we would have more time as we wait to see if we are the #1 family.  That's plenty of time for planning and making the proper arrangements.  Plenty of time for more prayer!

We've recently been blessed to be part of the Foster Family Association for our county.  We enjoyed getting to meet some other local foster and adoptive parents and are looking forward to being involved with them.  I may have raised my hand to volunteer for something...

We continue to be blessed by this journey to adoption.  We love meeting new people that are doing the same thing or going about it a little differently.  I love learning about their experiences and their families.  I even struck up a conversation at Chick-fil-A with an adoptive mom I'd never met before.  A friend in my Bible study small group at another church is currently waiting for a match for domestic infant adoption.  Another family friend is searching for a sibling in an African country.  All of these people bless us.  And so do you.  Thanks for your continued prayers for our family.

Buckner Camp

Reading this blog post from Jason Johnson reminded me that I never followed up on camp. It seems like it's been much longer than two weeks since camp but hopefully I can remember everything I wanted to tell.

The number one thing that I took away from camp is similar to the point of the linked blog post.  

They're all human.

The foster parents, adoptive parents, foster kids, and adopted kids are just people.  They don't stand out in a crowd.  They're just kids and parents.  Kids that do things for attention, that need love and correction.  Parents that love, that get frustrated, that correct, and then love some more.  It was very eye opening for me to look around and just see people. There are no super-powers needed to be a foster/adoptive parent!

On our drive to camp (about 4 hours) I told Andrew that if the camp wasn't nice enough we would have to go stay in a hotel.  I wasn't going to spend 3 days without air conditioning.  I'm a sissy, I know.  I was impressed though and we had a blast.

The camp itself was wonderful.  The facilities were clean and beyond my expectations.  The camp grounds were beautiful and offered much.  The staff was friendly and interacted well with adults and children alike.  Our cabin was a large one with two sides. On our side there were 9 sets of bunk beds and a large bathroom with multiple showers and stalls.  The A/C unit worked really well too!  On the other side of our cabin was another large family.  

Each day started with breakfast at the cafeteria.  The food was good (for camp food).  Then there was a "pump it up rally" in which they tried to get everybody moving and dancing.  For any of you that know the Shipps remotely well you know that this is not our thing.  I actually offered the kids $1 each to dance.  Gabe was the only taker at first but eventually a few others joined in.  This may have been the furthest out of our comfort zone that we got the whole time.  After that we had activities.  We signed up for crafts one day and archery the next.  We also spent a lot of time at the covered sandbox with the little ones.  After lunch there was a short rest time.  Both days we took a little drive so that AnnaMae would actually nap.  After that was swim time.  We had the choice of the nice big pool or the lake with a water slide.  There was also a blob and kayaking but our kids were too young for that.  They were also too young for the ropes course and zip line.
After a little time for cleaning up we had dinner and then a short worship time all together. After that there was more time for pool swimming.  The last night they had "Buckner State Fair."  There were carnival games and prizes and a few "rides".  Ok.  Maybe THIS was the thing that made me most uncomfortable.  8-10 men on motor cycles taking the kids for a short SLOW ride around the circle and a big all-terrain type truck for kids to ride in the back.  These were both terrifying to me!

We met some wonderful people.  Everyone there was of course a foster or adoptive family.  We were definitely the odd ones out since we don't have a placement yet.  We were so glad we went though.  Aside from the sheer fun of it all, we were able to talk to and connect with parents that have done what we're trying to do.  Of course I met more people and talked more than Andrew did...

There was a lady that has been a foster mom for 40 years!  I can't even begin to imagine the number of lives she has touched!
There were families that went straight to adoption.  One that just finalized with their 5 year old a few weeks before.  You could see how much they were delighting in being parents for the first time.
There were families that have fostered-to-adopt and added to their biological families to make one BIG happy family.
There were many older couples that were doing foster care only.  One couple was there with their 25 year old son with Cerebral Palsy and their 2 or 3 young foster daughters.  And a few other older couples that had adult children but were fostering babies and young children.
There were group homes represented and one little boy that kept flirting with AnnaMae, playing with Gabe, and generally giving his foster mom a handful.  I could all too easily imagine him in our family.
There were other large families with older high-school and college aged kids that were fostering and adopting younger children.  We loved seeing these older kids tote around their younger siblings lovingly.

There were many more too.  I think there were somewhere around 200 people there.  It was a wonderful experience.  The kids can't wait to go back next year and neither can I.  But hopefully by camp next year we will have added to our family.


We continue to wait patiently for what the Lord has in store for our family.  I constantly remind myself that us not being chosen by a caseworker isn't just because the caseworker flipped past our already large family.  It wasn't that they just didn't like us on paper.  It's because God knows the right children and the perfect timing for us.  His plans are perfect.

We are blessed by all those we met and by this whole process.  Our eyes have already been opened to new things and we wait with excitement and anxiousness to see what else we will learn along the way.

What's Happening

We've had a very busy summer with travel, moving, a snake bite, and much more.  And things aren't slowing down yet.  Tomorrow we are headed to Camp Buckner with many other foster and adoptive families.  We are really looking forward to this time of connecting with other families and the time together with our own family.  I am particularly interested to see how our kids interact with the other children there.

We also just submitted our home study on another sibling set.  Please pray that the Lord would guide their caseworker to just the right family for them.

When we get back from camp we've got some work to do to get our new house ready to be inspected but it shouldn't be too bad.  It's a whole lot easier going into it when we know exactly what to expect.  We also owe our caseworker a book report to show that we are continuing our foster/adoptive education while we wait for a placement.

So, in a nutshell, that's what's going on with us.  I'll update more after camp.  Also, please check in with our facebook page to pray along with us for the foster kids in Texas.  www.facebook.com/shippadoption

Praying for Foster Kids

If you've been following our facebook page you'll know that we've been sharing a link each day to a foster child in this area.  The goal is to raise awareness of these kids and to pray for them by name.   So far we have shared 14 kids.  There is one photo left on the Heart Gallery of Deep East Texas page.  This is just barely scratching the surface!  Next we will move to a different area of the Heart Gallery.  There are also more children listed on the DFPS website.  On that website you can see sibling groups of 4, 5, or even more.  Here's a listing for a sibling set of five that need a forever family.

Please continue to follow along and pray with us that the love of Christ would be poured out on them.

Let's Pray

I've been overwhelmed by how little I can actually do for these kids.  I can't take them all in.  I can't fix their problems, the "system", or help their biological parents get back on their feet.  What I can do though is pray for them.  And when it comes down to it that's the most important thing anyone can do.
Starting today, I'll be praying through the Texas Heart Gallery listings, beginning with Deep East Texas.  Each day I'll go down the list to the next child and pray for that child by name.  I'll be listing them on my FaceBook page.  Please join me in praying for these kids.

I know adoption isn't for everyone and I don't presume to imply that every Christian should adopt.  But we are all called to care for them.  And we can care for them by praying.  It's a great start.

James 1:27

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

If you're joining me in prayer, let's start here, with Lee. 

The system is flawed

I can't help but think we (Christians) are not doing enough.

Look through the Texas Heart Gallery and see their faces.  Glimpse into their lives.  You won't know their stories, but you can see their heartbreak in their eyes.

We recently told our caseworker that we were interested in a little boy we found on the Heart Gallery website.  He was a little older than we initially had been interested in, but something about this little boy drew us in.  There was a photo and a video clip about him.  Our oldest especially loved that this little boy's favorite foods are the same as his - pizza and pancakes.
When we heard back from his caseworker and ours we found out that this little boy is considered very aggressive and has been in a residential treatment center for two years.  My heart sunk.  I am sad and angry.  I don't have those feelings for myself, but for him and so many others like him.  Of course I can't bring a "very aggressive" child into my home.  I'm not equipped to help him or handle him and put the rest of my kids at risk in that way.  But there's got to be more for him.

The way things are now, this boy is unlikely to ever get adopted.  No doubt his is on high doses of medications to "moderate" his behavior.  Whatever trauma was in his early life likely caused him to start acting out in a foster home.  He wasn't stable or secure and things just got worse from there.  They started medicating him and things continued to escalate.  (This is all speculation of course.)  Now he is in a place that he is unlikely to come back from.  He's dependent on drugs, legal though they may be.  And what happens when he ages out of the system?  He's let go with no familial attachments, no experience for what a real relationship with a family (or Christ) can be like, no job skills, no income, no support.  He can't pay for his drugs that he's become dependent on after years of subduing his symptoms instead of healing him from the inside out.  What happens to this young man?

There's got to be a better way.  Christians have got to step in and help.  Do more.  Do SOMETHING.  If this boy had been given a chance by an older Christian couple with parenting experience but no other children at home, he could have been directed on the right path.  He could have been LOVED instead of drugged.  He could have been parented instead of "treated."  My heart breaks for him.  I wish I could do more for him.

I know I don't have any personal experience with mood altering medications.  I know I don't have first hand experience with these traumatized kids.  But I do think that kids in general are being medicated FAR too much instead of parented and loved.  (And not just kids in foster care.)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.  Experiences?  If we can't fix this, how can we at least improve it?  How can we, as Christians, help kids like this little boy now and in their future?