I'm not sure if this is something that everyone that considers adoption thinks or worries about, but it's been on my mind lately. I've been a little afraid that I'd have a hard time "falling in love" or feeling attached to a child when they are placed in my arms and in my family. Does that sound mean? Maybe some of my friends that have fostered and adopted can share with me on this., but I've been afraid that I wouldn't be able to instantly love them. I knew that I could care for them immediately and that I WOULD fall in love with them. I've just been afraid that it wouldn't be instant. Does that even make sense?
This week I had a friend tell me that she knew I would be able to love and welcome another child into my life. She didn't know this was on my mind, but she told me she knew I would be great at it. That helped.
Tonight though I got to hold a dear friend's infant. I got to stare at her and smell that intoxicating new baby smell. I'm a baby person (if you didn't know that), but all babies don't make me melt like that. I love that little baby, because I love her parents. But somehow, in that moment, I realized that I could absolutely love another baby/child as my own. As I'm typing this I know it sounds bizarre. But it was another ah-ha moment for me. My fears are gone in this regard.